Apps for St. Valentine’s Day are as nice as an emergency gastroscopy after dinner on Christmas and useful as Gasparri is in the Parliament.
But you can’t deny that they are pretty funny.
Apps for couples and for them only.
Besides my single status I decided to celebrate this Valentine’s Day filling – and then emptying- my smartphone with apps for couples, the ones you must use in two, for the joy of reluctant singles.
I found due apps for private chats, Between and Couple, both offering the same functionalities: private chat, sharing calendar and a to do list, emoticon and romantic stickers, video chat, sharing pics and video and you can send pictures that will self – destroy after a while.
According to users, these apps are amazing and very useful, even if the majority of comments were also complaining about the lack of choice for the emoticons and you know, super-duper sweet emoticons are essential if you want to keep a romantic conversation and a love story too.
Since they are both apps for couples, and since I am alone and with not very collaborative friends, I could not test those apps, but I have to share my thoughts:
- What does it mean private chat? I mean, unless you create a group chat, all chats are private and you can share emoticons, picture, files and video in all of them.
- The video call option, yeah, that was needed: who doesn’t have on his/her phone apps like Viber, Skype or Facetime? Nobody.
- Sharing your respective to do list: I can’t wait for a partner who sends me a list with things to do instead of calling me and ask me to buy something. Priceless.
- Calendar: no phone or operative system has one, and thank god couples can install the app on their phones to remind each other when they have a date. And let’s be honest, if you forget you have a date and you can use the chat of call, then I recommend you to revise your relationship.
- Self-destructing pics: giving the opportunity to someone to send hot pics that cannot be saved, is essential, and it shows the human necessity to always step aside and the real essence of life, particularly a couple’s one.
Anyway, Foreplay wins if it comes to apps for couples, because it helps them spicing up their foreplays. It’s a game for two on the same phone. First of all, you have to choose the number of foreplays and the type too – if linked to get undressed, talking, romanticism or erotic- and then the app suggests the couple what to do, giving them also a time schedule. It’s like an alarm that lets you know when your turn is over and it doesn’t matter if the other one is liking it, you have to stop and make an evaluation. Yep, not joking, the partner will actually evaluate your performance. Foreplay turns on your libido turning two lovers against each other, and there is also a final winner! Everything written in English, as Scilipoti had written it.
Apps for scatterbrain couples: counting the days
Insert the date of the creation of the couple and…voila! It counts the days you’ve spent together and it lets you know when your anniversary will be. Finally, I can say that I’ve been with “whoever” for 587 days, a vital information that I can write in my private chat adding a puppy fluttering its eyelashes.
Love compatibility: the final test to know if you are made for each other
Insert your name and your partner’s one and boom! 86% of affinity. Then you insert your birth date and is will drop by 60%.
This excursus between apps for lovers taught me something: the funniest thing is not downloading these apps, but read the reviews on the ones who downloaded them. Who’s single should do this every Valentine’s Day, because only by reading them you realize how true this saying is: better alone than in bad company.
"La vita è piena di miserie, solitudine e tristezza e per di più dura troppo poco" (Woody Allen) Scrivere, progettare e intervistare sono le mie passioni, ma riesco meglio nel bere, mangiare e guardare serie TV.